My inspiration for writing this blog arose from a recent conversation I had with one of my closest friends. Like brothers, we often discuss anything new going on in our lives. Family, work, relationships etc. tend to be the core of our conversations. Being that he was in a relationship I posed a question to him. Do you feel that your girlfriend is the one? His response was he’s not sure, but I pray on it and take it day by day. What he said after really struck me because it not only showed me how much we’ve grown up since Jr. High School but also what a relationship is all about. He coupled his previous statement with the following:

“All I know is that I need her as much as she needs me”.


Her being the source of his happiness and him being unable to survive without her, wasn’t the intent of this statement. Through them being together, she is able to strengthen his weaknesses and visa versa. Exposing each other to new things, being open minded and pushing one another has enabled them to grow as individuals and as a couple. Causing them to need one another. They complete one another, not by seeking happiness from one another but by gaining happiness from each other.

Also said in the conversation was that nothing that is worth it isn’t worth fighting for. People will disagree and argue that’s just human nature. Being able to get through the arguments is important. Learning from them rather than repeating them is key. The devil exist and will try his all to break your happiness up. Hence why people mysteriously come out the woodwork when you are in a new and flourishing relationship.

A problem with guys

I happen to be one which allows me to honestly speak from a male point of view. Often men dismiss and downgrade relationships. Is it because we do not believe in relationships? No, it’s because we’re not always successful with them. One bad habit is that we are quicker to pick up the phone and discuss the negative instead of the positive when it comes to our girlfriends. We will hear about the twenty times she made you mad, instead of the hundreds of times she’s made you content and feeling elated. What this is doing is hindering a lot of men from seeing the positive outcomes relationships can produce. Some opt to be single or go the so called “player” route. This stems from the fear that the time invested in a relationship may eventually come to an end. Nothing tried, nothing done was something my mom always told me when I was young. Being able to accept and deal with not only the good but also the bad is part of life and growing up. Realize that If breaking up didn’t leave any possibility of something positive arising then it would be called breaking down. Breaking up isn’t always a negative thing. If both parties are able to grow and experienced happiness for some part, that relationship was in fact a positive one no matter how it ended.

My definition of love

Love is when you have found yourself with the same person you’re not afraid to lose yourself with.

Putting yourself out there emotionally can make for the most magical and greatest times of you life. It also leaves you very vulnerable for a lot of hurt if it should come to a halt. Faith is very important. What is meant to be will be. Love hard and trust that if it came to an end it was for a reason. You’ll never be given more than you can bare.

I’ve been meaning to write another blog for the longest while now but I didn’t know what about. Often we’re in relationships and question why? It’s good that when I was able to ask that question to someone and they could give me an answer that wasn’t only honest but also from the heart. I hope you enjoyed reading this blog. Feel free to share thoughts and views.



'I NEED HER' have 1 comment

  1. November 27, 2014 @ 5:11 pm Tara

    Very nice and interesting all at once. I like your point of on love and I agree with your definition of “break up”. I wish you were around when I was going through my break ups. I’ve never looked at it from that perspective. I feel we need to be whole before enter a relationship. I shouldn’t have to depend on you to make me happy. I shouldn’t feel empty when we’re apart. Lonely, yes but empty, no. I found myself loving others more than I loved me and that was the downfall. Thank God I’ve learned self worth and self love over the years. Now I feel God has put me in a position to experience a true love because I now love me. Keep on writing and inspiring.


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