We have issues to address but with no label on this relationship, who do we mail our complaints to? We don’t. Those statements remain enveloped-forgotten…and become sealed with a kiss. I’ll let you, define us. I’m oblivious in knowing what I mean to you. If actions speak louder than words, all we do is close our eyes and let them fall upon deaf ears. Thus begins the lie. Not through the words spoken by false lips but through the silencing of a truthful tongue. You are not afraid of asking but clarifying. In doing so, it may prove that we are on different pages of the same story. Main character to one. Honorable mention to the other.
Relationships need a title as much as a child needs a name. When you reach out, I’m not at fault for not responding. I’m not at fault for failing to receive the message explaining that mentally you set boundaries that you hoped I’d never journey across. There is no way we can be exclusive without being elusive. Because what we have is a faux relationship. We talk like them, walk like them but we don’t walk with them. Yet if I should wonder astray and fault like them…I’m wrong like them. And you would hurt like her. So while you break down and contemplate breaking up, you will break down again when realizing I was never yours to break up with.
Do I have the right to care or only the right to remain silent? Fearful that our pact may be breached, we become lazy and never exercise our Freedom of Speech. So where do we go from here? We take a business approach to a social us. Working days and mandatory overtime dedicated to us. We believe that we are friends with benefits, but where is the friendship once the benefits run out? We convey our feelings through intercourse but rarely over a dinner course. Relationships are difficult, and built from the bottom up, not the top down. They are even more difficult once you cross the point of bottoms up with their tops down.
And If sex without a bigger picture in mind remains an empty canvass…where do I begin to draw the line? We need each other. I need to paint…you need to be seen. I see you. I see a woman, extremely beautiful but deeply cognizant of her flaws. So vulnerable to my every touch, you follow my lead to prevent the distortion of this picture. With every pose she models the model she’s convinced I want her to be. Your security is in knowing that I will never highlight your insecurities. She trusts me more than the ex…maybe more than the next. She’s grown to love me and doesn’t require it in return. Only asks that I grow to understand her. Understand her like a butterfly lost in an Amazon of love. Understand that her being lost in us doesn’t hinder her from still being beautiful.
The truth is my blues can never paint you a heaven and my water can’t wash the pain away. What we have isn’t unconventional…its convenient. You are afraid to move on. I’m afraid to let go. Let me go. If a person isn’t meeting you halfway then it’s a chase-and you never chase anything not moving in your direction. Nothing meant for you will ever run from you. I can’t justify the whirlwind of emotions you’re putting me through. I also refuse to find solace in the lone gentle breeze you generously threw my way. We are all priceless so let’s not sell ourselves short. Neither one of us is wrong. We just need to do what is right. To go our separate ways, it only requires one person to leave. It was fun, but it is all fun and games before someone catches feelings. And once feelings are involved lives are at stake. This is the reason why we tend to avoid relationships to begin with. I’m sure this is hard to digest and what was said might be slightly mistaken. I could explain a little further…but won’t. Why? Because I’m single…not taken.